How can you really know what your husband will be like as a dad? You can have countless discussions about how you will raise children, what you will name them, whether or not they will be allowed to watch cartoons containing violence, etc. The truth is, you never really know. I don’t even know if I am the same mother I thought I would be. Often times our child’s needs and personality can dictate the type of parent we become, despite what we have set out to be.
The adjustment from going to solely husband and wife to mom and dad can no doubt bring it’s challenges; but it can also open up a whole host of reasons to love your spouse in different ways than you did before. In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I would share with you 10 reasons I love my husband more as the father of my children.
1. He thinks I’m even tougher than he did before. He’s seen me birthe multiple children without pain medication (and one with)…enough said. He held my hand, massaged my back, and was my island in a seemingly never-ending ocean of pain. I don’t think there is any experience that could ever top that for us.
2. His silly voices. Him talking like Mickey Mouse throughout dinner would be weird if we didn’t have kids, but, as they belly laugh in awe of their daddy, it’s quite endearing.
3. He genuinely thinks I’m the best mom ever. On days I feel like a failure, when one more bump, bruise or shove will set me over the edge, he tells me I’m doing a good job. Only someone who has been in the trenches with you, and can still see your successes, carries enough credit to be believable when they give you that great of a compliment.
4. He has always been expressive and affectionate toward me, which I soak up like a sponge. When I see that same affection shown towards my kids, it’s enough to make me melt.
5. He’s a storyteller. I have heard his stories more times than I can count, if you ever want to know ANYTHING, ask my husband, he’ll have an answer, and most likely a lengthy one. However, when I see my kids imagining and creating scenes in their minds, I see the magic through their eyes, and it’s almost a new story all over again.
6. When I am out of patience, I can always count of him for a venting session. If there is one thing he is always willing to discuss with me, it’s our children, good or bad.
7. He is their teacher. He can turn walking down a hallway into a teachable moment. He engages our children, discusses anything with them, and most importantly takes the time to listen to them. A skill that has greatly been honed since becoming a father.
8. He’s my teammate. As much as our son might argue this one, we are a united front. I have the freedom to express my opinions in regards to how we raise our children. While he probably defers to me on some things, he does so because he believes in being on the same page.
9. He babywears! Tula, Ergo, Moby…he does it all. These are the types of things you just don’t know about when you marry someone, and that can make you fall head over heels in love again.
10. Much like his stories and his teachings, there is always a lesson. He is a man who believes in values, respect, and love. He shows our children how to live through example, what more could you really ask of the father of your children?
So while the relationship between husband and wife can dramatically change with the birth of children, it can be a beautiful process. What I loved about my husband the day I married him, has evolved to what I love about him as the father of my children. I’m sure our love will grow and evolve as our kids grow and begin their own families, and I look forward to what that brings, and welcome it with an open heart.